Awesome answers to stupid questions asked to introverts

Why are you so quiet?

• I'm listening to the voices in my head.
• Somebody has to be.
• I'm studying to be a mime.

Smile!

• Why?
• I can't. Tragic Botox incident.
• I will when you go away.

Why are you always so serious?

• I'm only serious on the outside. I'm partying on the inside.
• Always? Have you been stalking me?
• Because the universe is expanding, and if it's expanding, someday it will break apart and that would be the end of everything!

Are you mad?

• No, just eccentric.
• Why, what have you done?
• Not yet.

Do you hate people?

• Not all people.
• Only people who ask me that question.
• No, they're delicious with a nice Chianti.

Are you a snob?

• No, I'm a slob. That must have been a typo.
• Of course not. I'm here, aren't I?
• No, I pride myself on my low standards.

You look bored.

• Don't be so hard on yourself.
• This is my rapt face.
• Only when you talk.

You don't know how to have fun.

• Sure I do. Tell me when it starts.
• I didn't know "fun" was a synonym for "loud."
• You're right, I'm outta here.

Oh look! It's a new post!

And I'm back.

I'm not going to update very often, I seriously am not. It's exhausting thinking of stuff to write and sitting and typing it out, and having people not commenting. I'll continue with my neopets stories instead.

I so want to delete this blog, and maybe I will some day. Or maybe I'll keep it, just like my diary I swore to burn, but I which I like reading now that those strong aches and pains and thoughts have evolved into something else. And sometimes I add to my diary too, as I probably will to this one, perhaps once every two months.

That's it for now - let me read the blogs I follow instead.

Vignettes of school life

A: Nice socks.

B: Thanks a lot!

(looks down and frowns)

Hey wait! I think these are yours...

A: You think?

*****

A: What on earth are you doing?

B: I'm packing my bag to go home.

A: Oh my god, that's so gay!

I don't get this at all, because the sentence doesn't make sense with either meaning of gay. So a kind request to people - stop using gay as a synonym for boring, odd or uncool. I do not like the fact that I can't even use 'gay' to say I'm carefree without being teased to death about it.

*****

My sociology textbook on the definition of marriage - "Marriage is a contract for the production and maintenance of children."

I don't think I'll ever forget this definition in my life. Especially not with my classmate sitting beside me shouting "Marriage is not a factory!"

Sleepovers and karaoke

Notice: This was actually written a few weeks ago, when the sleepover was actually conducted. I'm posting it now ;)

We had the school sleepover/ overnight camp yesterday, where we actually camped out in school under the stars, watching movies till 4:00 am and pigging out on food like there's no tomorrow. If I hadn't participated in it myself, I wouldn't have believed such a thing to be possible. Having close to 400 children sleep in school without supervision of teachers? (there were parents there, but that's beside the point). Well, we didn't actually sleep, opting to stay awake and watch all the movies they were playing on the big screen instead - which is why I am all cranky and reluctant to study (Okay, I'm always reluctant to study) now.

We danced to classic party hits like 'Tik tok' and 'Sheela ki Jawani'. At least, I tried to dance, but ended up looking up like a chicken with fits; while others who'd memorised Katrina Kaif's every step in 'Sheela' were doing an amazing job on setting the dance floor (figuratively - we were actually dancing on mud) on fire. While many of us tentatively wiggled a bit now and then when we thought no one was looking, these people moved to the centre of the circle and partied hard - they were awesome beyond belief. If only I were blessed with that kind of talent and guts :)

We sang karaoke too, all 400 of us belting out numbers at the top of our voices. I actually sang to 'Baby', and it was amazing fun, though a friend of mine kept muttering into my ear, "You actually like this song? You actually like this song? YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THIS FREAKING SONG?" until I explained that I did not in fact like that song, that I totally agreed with her that Justin Bieber is gay, and that I was only singing to it because the lyrics were up on the screen and I just felt like crooning.

I didn't sleep throughout the night - only at 3:30 am which was practically morning anyway. I can safely say there's nothing in the world better than waking up to a new dawn under the open sky, and to steaming cups of hot chocolate. To people who did not gather it already, I really like hot chocolate :)

It was so beautiful. When I woke up at five am, it was still dark out, and each time I looked up, the sky was just a smidgen of a shade lighter. In one hour, the sky was a bright sunny blue, as if it had been so all along. If that is not magic, I don't know what is.

I almost forgot to mention a probably very typical thing I did - I lost my sleeping bag. I put it down very carefully on one of the benches, and wandered off with my friends, and when I came back just one hour later, it had inexplicably disappeared. I looked for it everywhere and I am ready to stake my life it wasn't anywhere. And yet, when I went to the lost and found office the next day, it was right among the other odds and ends in all its glory. Even the water hadn't been drunk. I am convinced it was a conspiracy.

It is during times like these I truly feel sad this is my last year in school. *sniff*

Variation of Murphy's Law

When you want to listen to songs... your ipod is out of charge.

If you try to charge it... the wire is missing.

If you have the wire... the ipod can't be found.

If you have both... the computer is not working.

The sweet sensation of success

(Disclaimer: Feel free to not read the rest of this entry. I'm only going to be gloating all the way through)

I'm jumping about... so excited, so keyed up! Is there any feeling greater in the world than getting your story published? It's published online, on the neopets story competition. If there is anything needed to support my theory that neopets is one heck of a site, this is it.

For three days I sat in front of this computer, furiously writing, editing, and rewriting. I didn't get it the first time. I didn't get it the second time. But I did the third time. There must be some moral in this, but I'm not wasting my time looking for a moral when I can celebrate instead. Yes! Yes! Yes! *Head bang*

To celebrate, I'm going to watch a movie on TV and not work the rest of the evening. That's what success does to you.

Happy February

Happy first of February! It isn't New Year's, I know, but I've decided the only way I'm going to keep to any of my Resolutions (notice the capital R) is if I treat every month as a separate entity - for effective goal-setting.

Yes, I have been reading my (super-large) psychology textbook lately, plus a load of self-help books, leading to

1) A change in my hand-writing (Now, I can't understand it myself :))

2) Me identifying a lot of goals.

2a) Me striving valiantly to reach those goals.

3) Me analysing every person I meet for signs of personality disorder (so far, everyone I meet seems to be suffering from megalomania, low self-esteem or depression - I must be doing something wrong.)

4) A well-founded conviction that self-help books must be thrown out of the window at the first opportunity.

My first advice: STAY AWAY FROM SELF-HELP BOOKS! They're really addictive and they'll poison your life if you let them. Now, you can't even swear when something bad happens because you swore to curb your temper, didn't you? Or sleep properly at night because you suddenly remembered you didn't do your ten-minute meditation and introspection time (whatever that means).

People don't really like lifeless, ever-calm people who smile all the time, like zombies. Leave that to air-hostesses who are at least paid for that kind of stuff. People really like people who get mad and storm and rage for a while. It shows they're human. Just don't do it too often.

And trust me on the self-help books.