She should die

Aruna Shanbaug has lived thirty seven years, no, has survived, dragging out a miserable existence, for thirty seven years and she deserves to die. I remember being shocked when I read the Supreme Court's verdict a few months ago that euthanasia is not allowed in her case, that it can be allowed only if the nurses in her hospital file the petition themselves.

Are the nurses crazy? Or simply selfish? How could they celebrate the verdict with sweets, how can they even say that she is an emblem for them and so must live? How can anyone condemn a person to a vegetative state, however much they take care of her and bathe and feed her? Why do humans grant a peaceful and painless death to dogs and cats and other animals and condemn fellow human beings to a lingering and painful existence?

My great-grandmother is more than a hundred years old. Her daughter, my grandmother, passed away before I was born, but she has not passed on yet. Apparently, every day she prays that God will take away her mortal life soon. I visit her occasionally and she's the sweetest little old lady, with a beautiful, child-like smile. My great-grandmother has trust in God, and she must not leave this world until she is ready, but it is extremely saddening to think that she wishes for death and yet it does not come. How can the world be so beautiful and loving and yet so incredibly cruel at the same time?

When I read of the Mumbai attacks last month ago, I thought, "Oh, another attack in Mumbai" quite matter-of-factly. I suddenly thought about it today - it seems usual because it is usual. Every few months there are bombs, casualties, police 'nearly' catching the perpetrator but never actually doing it, media noise, and finally silence. The media seems to have forgotten this one much quicker than it usually does. I guess bomb attacks aren't the big news they were earlier.

I feel ashamed that I'm not more involved with all of this stuff. Writing is one way, my main way, of expressing myself and my views. Anna Hazare's fight against corruption is all great, but will there be such a fight for justice and peace and right living? Shaw said that more things change, the more they remain the same. I hope against hope that he is wrong.

You're the best

Dear friend,

Thank you for being there for me, for cheering me up when I'm sad, for supporting me when I need it most, and most importantly, accepting me just the way I am without judgement, but still wanting me to improve for my own benefit. I don't mind when you criticise me because I know that you just want me to develop my potential, and your observations are bang-on.

You and I are so different in so many ways, but also so alike. It's a treat talking to you; and you're the first one I thought of when I messed up really badly and needed someone who'd understand. Your huge three-paragraph sms was soothing, but mostly it was the fact that you bothered to reply at all, and in such length, that makes me feel really special. I only wish I could do the same for you - always be there for you, whether you need me or not.

I always knew I wanted to be your friend. You're someone I can emulate in so many ways, and yet there's a lot in me too which you'd like to emulate - so we're both equals, complementing each other. I admire your fearlessness, your confidence, your determination, and your ability to pick yourself up after every fall, and you do seem to fall a lot :) These are qualities I don't possess in great quantities, or if I do, they are buried somewhere deep inside my psyche, so I'm glad to have such a close friend who has these qualities.

I've always wanted a best friend - it's something I craved for very deeply, and I believed anyone with a close friend was the luckiest person ever - I stared at them in such awe. And finally, you turned up. Sure, it's been different from what I thought it would be. There were far more misunderstandings and less time together than I bargained for. However, we did resolve our misunderstandings, didn't we? And I do want to spend time together - you were right, I do need to talk more - but please be patient with me. I foresee a friendship spanning the years - I truly hope that as old ladies we'll drop into each other's house for a friendly chat, and we'll tell our amazed grandchildren that we've been pals for fifty long years. I'm definitely coming to your marriage (yes, you will meet the man of your dreams, and he will bring you break-fast in bed. Well, ok maybe not that, but I bet you'll be so in love you won't notice) and you will come to mine (always assuming I get married of course :)).

One day, you will even read my blog. I was bitterly disappointed when you said you didn't want to, but hey, at least you were honest - that's one of your central traits and a virtue which is fast fading nowadays. Still, one day, if I haven't deleted it, I do hope you will read it and give your critique, and I do hope you will read this post as well. On second thoughts, perhaps not. I'm sure you'd start giving me weird looks after you read it.

We will go for a movie together one day - after the twelfth boards perhaps. After all, the future is still open with possibility, and you're right, the best person is the one who falls and then picks herself up again, learning from her mistakes. In my most comfy pyjamas, and having eaten a good meal, and having heard from you, of course, the world seems like a pretty okay place to live in again. It would be the most marvellous place in the world if I didn't have my exams tomorrow. There is always a fly in the ointment :(

From,

me!

Awesome answers to stupid questions asked to introverts

Why are you so quiet?

• I'm listening to the voices in my head.
• Somebody has to be.
• I'm studying to be a mime.

Smile!

• Why?
• I can't. Tragic Botox incident.
• I will when you go away.

Why are you always so serious?

• I'm only serious on the outside. I'm partying on the inside.
• Always? Have you been stalking me?
• Because the universe is expanding, and if it's expanding, someday it will break apart and that would be the end of everything!

Are you mad?

• No, just eccentric.
• Why, what have you done?
• Not yet.

Do you hate people?

• Not all people.
• Only people who ask me that question.
• No, they're delicious with a nice Chianti.

Are you a snob?

• No, I'm a slob. That must have been a typo.
• Of course not. I'm here, aren't I?
• No, I pride myself on my low standards.

You look bored.

• Don't be so hard on yourself.
• This is my rapt face.
• Only when you talk.

You don't know how to have fun.

• Sure I do. Tell me when it starts.
• I didn't know "fun" was a synonym for "loud."
• You're right, I'm outta here.

Oh look! It's a new post!

And I'm back.

I'm not going to update very often, I seriously am not. It's exhausting thinking of stuff to write and sitting and typing it out, and having people not commenting. I'll continue with my neopets stories instead.

I so want to delete this blog, and maybe I will some day. Or maybe I'll keep it, just like my diary I swore to burn, but I which I like reading now that those strong aches and pains and thoughts have evolved into something else. And sometimes I add to my diary too, as I probably will to this one, perhaps once every two months.

That's it for now - let me read the blogs I follow instead.

Vignettes of school life

A: Nice socks.

B: Thanks a lot!

(looks down and frowns)

Hey wait! I think these are yours...

A: You think?

*****

A: What on earth are you doing?

B: I'm packing my bag to go home.

A: Oh my god, that's so gay!

I don't get this at all, because the sentence doesn't make sense with either meaning of gay. So a kind request to people - stop using gay as a synonym for boring, odd or uncool. I do not like the fact that I can't even use 'gay' to say I'm carefree without being teased to death about it.

*****

My sociology textbook on the definition of marriage - "Marriage is a contract for the production and maintenance of children."

I don't think I'll ever forget this definition in my life. Especially not with my classmate sitting beside me shouting "Marriage is not a factory!"

Sleepovers and karaoke

Notice: This was actually written a few weeks ago, when the sleepover was actually conducted. I'm posting it now ;)

We had the school sleepover/ overnight camp yesterday, where we actually camped out in school under the stars, watching movies till 4:00 am and pigging out on food like there's no tomorrow. If I hadn't participated in it myself, I wouldn't have believed such a thing to be possible. Having close to 400 children sleep in school without supervision of teachers? (there were parents there, but that's beside the point). Well, we didn't actually sleep, opting to stay awake and watch all the movies they were playing on the big screen instead - which is why I am all cranky and reluctant to study (Okay, I'm always reluctant to study) now.

We danced to classic party hits like 'Tik tok' and 'Sheela ki Jawani'. At least, I tried to dance, but ended up looking up like a chicken with fits; while others who'd memorised Katrina Kaif's every step in 'Sheela' were doing an amazing job on setting the dance floor (figuratively - we were actually dancing on mud) on fire. While many of us tentatively wiggled a bit now and then when we thought no one was looking, these people moved to the centre of the circle and partied hard - they were awesome beyond belief. If only I were blessed with that kind of talent and guts :)

We sang karaoke too, all 400 of us belting out numbers at the top of our voices. I actually sang to 'Baby', and it was amazing fun, though a friend of mine kept muttering into my ear, "You actually like this song? You actually like this song? YOU ACTUALLY LIKE THIS FREAKING SONG?" until I explained that I did not in fact like that song, that I totally agreed with her that Justin Bieber is gay, and that I was only singing to it because the lyrics were up on the screen and I just felt like crooning.

I didn't sleep throughout the night - only at 3:30 am which was practically morning anyway. I can safely say there's nothing in the world better than waking up to a new dawn under the open sky, and to steaming cups of hot chocolate. To people who did not gather it already, I really like hot chocolate :)

It was so beautiful. When I woke up at five am, it was still dark out, and each time I looked up, the sky was just a smidgen of a shade lighter. In one hour, the sky was a bright sunny blue, as if it had been so all along. If that is not magic, I don't know what is.

I almost forgot to mention a probably very typical thing I did - I lost my sleeping bag. I put it down very carefully on one of the benches, and wandered off with my friends, and when I came back just one hour later, it had inexplicably disappeared. I looked for it everywhere and I am ready to stake my life it wasn't anywhere. And yet, when I went to the lost and found office the next day, it was right among the other odds and ends in all its glory. Even the water hadn't been drunk. I am convinced it was a conspiracy.

It is during times like these I truly feel sad this is my last year in school. *sniff*

Variation of Murphy's Law

When you want to listen to songs... your ipod is out of charge.

If you try to charge it... the wire is missing.

If you have the wire... the ipod can't be found.

If you have both... the computer is not working.